What Social Media Doesn't See

As seen on social media, I recently went on a weeklong vacation to the Southern part of Thailand for a holiday called Songkran. Songkran is the Thai New Year and you typically get a long vacation for it. We decided to fly to the South and enjoy a week at the most incredible beaches I have laid my eyes on! Of course, I had to post pictures on social media for everyone to see because it was stunning, and I was having a great time.

But what you didn't see from social media were the emotions I went through to get there and when I arrived home. The week leading up to my trip, another Covid outbreak occurred, and cases were rising rapidly. People cancelled trips, rescheduled flights, and traveling during the outbreak was slightly frowned upon. I was not able to get my flight refunded and I was going to meet many other teachers that arrived the week prior. I had to make the decision to continue traveling or to cancel my trip. I knew there was a possibility of a nation-wide lock down when I arrived home and I had to consider my mental health. It was hard enough seeing my friends on vacation while I still had to work but to see them on the beach for another week without me, I thought I should still go. Also, if we did have another lockdown, I would have at least gone on a nice long vacation and I would feel satisfied.

After an internal battle of whether or not I should go, I decided to go and ended up having so much fun visiting the south. Of course, we took extra precautions to make sure we were away from other people and washed our hands often. I never felt like I put myself at risk which caused me a lot of peace. I'm so happy I went because when I arrived home, my school made the decision to began teaching online again. I had no time to prepare materials from school to bring home and I don’t have many materials at my home so it’s definitely been a challenge. Have you tried teaching 2-4 year olds on Zoom 5 days a week?! It’s fun, but again, it’s a challenge.

Unfortunately, as of yesterday, we have encountered another lockdown. This time, it's a little stricter. We are not allowed to leave our campus for any reason, including getting food. To get food, we must send our grocery list to the assistant manager who will complete the shopping for all the teachers living in the dorms. Now, let me remind you that I only have a microwave to cook with. It's hard enough to be an extremely picky eater but to be a picky eater, having someone else do your grocery shopping, only having a microwave, in another country is a challenge.

From what I can gather, someone who was on campus recently, came in contact with someone who tested positive, and our school is taking precautionary measures to prevent the spread of it. I'm hoping and praying it only lasts two weeks, but it is very possible that our lockdown will continue longer than two weeks because of the nation's positive cases.

Because of this new outbreak and lockdown, one of my closest friends on campus had to make the hard decision to leave within the next few days. Another teacher from my Kindergarten school has also made the decision to leave as well which is disappointing.

What you don't see on social media are the hard days. The days I question my purpose in Thailand and wish I was back home with everything that was comfortable to me. The days I wake up so sad and call my family crying. I think it is important to shine a light on the days that are hard because living abroad is hard. Not every day is as magical as it looks on social media.

I know more hard days are in the future and I'm okay with it. I'm thankful for the opportunity to go through trials because in the end, God has a purpose behind it. Although I cannot see the purpose in the midst of the storm, I'm confident that God is guiding me through the hardest days.

As I read through a devotional this week, I read a quote that really stuck with me. It said,

"Look at each new challenge and test as another opportunity to receive something, not simply survive". I don't know what the rest of my journey in Thailand will look like, but I do know that I will grow and become stronger. I don't know how long the lockdown will continue or if the Covid situation will become better or worse, but I do know that God's purpose in allowing me to go through each trial while here is not to bring me pain but allow me to grow.

As I continue my adventure in Thailand, I ask that you pray for these specific things.

1. The Covid situation improves so the lockdown is not extended.

2. I continue making friends as my old friends leave.

3. God gives me peace and comfort as I experience this strict lockdown in a place that doesn't quite feel like home.

Through it all, I'm still feeling so blessed that I'm able to experience life in Thailand. It's not easy but it's worth it. These memories are something that I will always cherish. I'm proud of myself for moving abroad during a pandemic and the growth I've already seen within myself. I'm excited to see what the rest of my time in Thailand looks like!