Harder than expected first week of school

Because of the Covid outbreak in my province, schools have been closed since I arrived to Thailand. On February 1st, most schools in Thailand could resume with in person teaching, except for my province. Fortunately, I live in the province of Samut Sakhon but my school was 10 minutes down the road in the province of Bangkok. That meant, I WAS GOING TO TEACH IN PERSON!!

I got a text on Saturday afternoon from my coordinator telling me that school would be reopening on Monday…. That gave me a day and a half to figure out what I was wearing, what to bring, etc. I had previously been to my school about 3 times because my students (ages 2-4) were not participating on Zoom and I would record a video to send to them. I was so excited, but of course a little nervous.

When I arrived on Monday morning, I couldn’t wait to see the kids. My kids are between the ages of 2-4 and seeing them in their uniform with a backpack that completely swallowed them, made my heart burst. They are the cutest things I’ve laid my eyes on. I thought I would get to observe another English teacher and shadow her throughout the day to see what a typical day was like...

I was completely wrong. At 8:40, I was teaching my first class. I had to teach 5 classes on my first day. I had absolutely nothing prepared and no resources aside from flashcards with the required vocabulary. I entered each class with my personal speaker, the roster, and flashcards. Because my kids were so little, they know VERY little English. I tried so hard, but to be quite honest my lessons were an absolute disaster. Most kids just stared at me the entire class and the other kids just cried.

After 7 years of teaching, this was by far the hardest first week of school. I left school feeling so defeated. My lessons were terrible, I butchered all the student’s names, and I knew the Thai teachers thought I’m crazy. I cried most of the first week of school. I was confident in my teaching abilities in America but here in Thailand, I felt like I was failing the students and Thai teachers.

I went home and cried to the other teachers that live with me. Of course, they were so supportive, sympathized with me, and encouraged me to get back up and try again, again, and again. They graciously spent the first week coloring, taping, and cutting things to help me make resources that I can use.

The first two weeks of school have been completely different than I expected and have been much more difficult than I prepared for. After two full weeks at school, I have become more confident in my ability to teach ESL students, especially ones who are still learning their own language.

I'm constantly reminding myself that I am making an impact on these kids even on my hardest days. I am growing, changing, and ultimately, the hard days are making me a better person. It’s okay to be frustrated and struggle because I know I'm going to get through it. I'm thankful that God has put me in this school for a purpose. He has chosen this country, city, province and school for a reason and I'm going to keep pushing through the hard days because the hard and uncomfortable moments will be outweighed by all the fun times and great memories I make the rest of my time in Thailand!